Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
