Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
