turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
