You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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