I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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