I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
