I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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