woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize