bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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