At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
