I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
