there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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