I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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