the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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