It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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