the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
be right there i have to get my cape
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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