woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
