So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I touched a dick in church today
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
