"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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