Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
