We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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