dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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