Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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