Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
