My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
