I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
worst night to have a conscience
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
