Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
