did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
