these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
