Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
