saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
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He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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