Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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