No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
