Kiss
Puke
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
