i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
