I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
They have beer where we have blood.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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