You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
