Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
