So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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