So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
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When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
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My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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