jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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