saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
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Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
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it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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