8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
