Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
