dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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