Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
