We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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