just come out here and I will go home with you...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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