I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
