Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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