Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
