in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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