i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
