I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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