Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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