I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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